Doors, Dogs, and Doubt

photoSo it has finally begun. I realize I’ve been quiet on the topic of our adoption journey since I’ve first started this blog early last year.

Well, with our classes out of the way (not much to blog about there), the paper work filled out (most of if), and house made as child-proof as can be (the picture here is of our future child’s room), I am thrilled to say that we had our first home study visit yesterday evening.

We’ve been worried sick over this visit for the past couple of months. When we brought it to the attention of the foster-to-adopt class that we live in a loft – a home without doors – we were practically laughed out of the program.

It was humiliating, for sure. But it only angered me. First off, Sarabeth had drawn a perfect blueprint of our home (as instructed) showing that the two bedrooms are completely separate – each at the end of our U-shaped loft. There’s lots of privacy.

The second thing that angered me was how quickly the minds of our fellow classmates – prospective foster-to-adopt parents – sunk into the gutter – hence all the laughter.

We could put up a door, separating the nook and bedroom from the living room, but it would significantly devalue the worth of the loft. So, in the interest of financial planning, that was not feasable.

The second thing we were worried about was our three dogs. Dachshunds. And if you know dachshunds, they’re known for four things: cuddling, sensitive backs, barking, and lots more barking.

It’s stressful having people over knowing the dogs are going to spend the first ten minutes barking their fool heads off. So, over time we’ve learned different strategies of keeping them at bay (locking them up) and shortening the length of barking time (bribery with treats that require perseverance and time to get through).

So needless to say, we were prepared for the home study visit to end with, “Call me when you get some doors up, and you get your dogs under control.”

I won’t bore you with the details, but let me just say that last night’s visit couldn’t have gone any better. The case worker, who was a wonderfully nice person – to our surprise – didn’t see any problem with us having no doors as our bedrooms are indeed very separate from each other.

…And she was a dog lover! She had two of her own – a collie and a something Shepherd (Australian, German, I forget – either way, the kind of big dogs I would like to have one day).

So all this to encourage you, if you’re living in a world of worry, or anxiety is keeping you up at night, and you don’t have the strength or faith to pray about it (like me), keep your friends in the loop and they’ll pray on your behalf. Many of our friends and family members prayed for us, and we’re so thankful.

So, with just a few more things to check off our list, we’re almost approved to be foster-to-adopt parents – and so, so excited, and shocked, and simply thankful.

Yeah, despite all the worrying, things are starting to fall into place. I bet it’s that way for most other people as well.

Published by Andrew Toy

Writer when I'm not being a husband or dad. So mostly just a husband and dad.

20 thoughts on “Doors, Dogs, and Doubt

  1. I know a couple who were just as nervous when they went on their adopting journey but it all worked out. They adopted a boy, then a girl and then they became pregnant and now have another son. They have a great dane and a beagle!


  2. I remember feeling like that, their are still more worries to come, I’ve only adopted so far, so I can’t speak for foster parents, but I’d say your more that half way done with all the hard stuff, it’ll start to lighten up 🙂 I’m about to do more classes just to keep my home study up to date.


  3. So glad it went well. We were SO nervous for our first one. Trying to make the house look perfectly clean which is next to impossible with an active 2 year old. You hit that nervousness so well. We still get nervous with each one but a little less and are better prepared for our last one coming up in June. Good luck to you.


  4. I’m glad to hear that everything went well. We were just as nervous when we went through it with our son, 10 years ago. We,ve had many ups and downs over the years in dealing with adoption agencies, lawyers, etc. Are still trying to adopt our second. We had hoped that by now we would have had more children, but we know that God has a plan for us. god bless!


  5. I’m really enjoying your blog. Such a warm change. I found out I was pregnant the day before my first foster parenting class, and I was certain they’d throw me out of the program, or that the others in the class would harbor some resentment towards me, but the very opposite happened. Plus, I had a German Shepherd, not an easy-going lab. Was terrified that they’d insist I get rid of her. But I had some awesome case workers, and my Shepherd became a source of security for one of my fosters who was terrified someone would kidnap him and his sister during the night. Family things happened and I have not fostered in a really long time. It was a wonderful experience and I am eager to do so again. I wish you and your wife the best. Your attitude towards the whole process is simply beautiful. Hold onto that.


      1. Best dogs ever 🙂 Never depended on anything as much as I did her. She appointed herself as nanny over the kids and ensured the other dogs behaved according to her standards. Miss her every day.


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