Birthday Blog

It’s my birthday and I must say that after last year’s birthday blog post, things have taken a positive turn in my life.
Carl-Fredricksen
I’ve had a year to accept the fact that I’m in my 30’s, I get heartburn more often, more cricks and cracks in my joints, and my body is more apt to display the calorie count of the last two meals I’ve had (and it is resilient at holding onto the last 18).
I’m not a bestselling author yet. However, I’m proud to announce that my second book comes out on Kindle Select tomorrow (it’s a tear-jerker and a perfect read to usher in the holidays)!
But about those positive turns in my life: We have a kid now, a baby girl who’s growing faster and faster each day. If you don’t know our story, Sarabeth and I had been waiting for a child for five years and we’re grateful to finally have our foster daughter in our lives.
Now we are in the process of trying to adopt her as our own so that she can be a Toy forever. Just the thought of that makes my eyes water and my heart pound like crazy in my chest. Sarabeth and I hold out for that day with all our might.
Along with aging however, comes an increasing tendency to be cranky and cantankerous in ways I never expected. For instance, I’m a much crappier father than I thought I’d be. I kind of turn into a jerk if my little girl starts crying when I’m busy working or eating or sleeping or – well, any time, really.

Screen Shot 2011-10-20 at 12.41.59 PMI don’t shake her or anything like that. And I don’t yell or scream at her. But I take on this tone that’s very… fatherish. (Not fatherly – there’s a big difference.) But she starts crying in the middle of Parenthood and I’m like, “Baby A.” – I don’t really call her that, that’s just what I call her on this blog until we reveal her name after she’s adopted. But I’m like, “Baby A. Stop. You don’t need to be crying right now. Wait eight more minutes when the show is over then Mom will come and take care of you while I disappear to the bathroom with a book until I can’t hear you anymore.” (Old age – seriously – it’s a killer.)
But then, there’s those moments when I look at her and I remember how small she used to be at just 6 pounds. And I recall how, less than a year ago, my heart would crumble by the shrieking cries in the night caused by her illness. Movies make me cry, but real-life stuff doesn’t really (something Sarabeth is often concerned about). But my little girl’s painful cries brought me to tears a handful of times.
It’s good to reflect on your life on your birthday. For me, I wouldn’t really have much of a life if it weren’t for my wife and 10801921_10205375378008123_2425218875246496621_ndaughter. In fact, I’d just be a cranky, cantankerous 31 year old with no one to remind me stop working for a day, or take a few minutes to play, or laugh, or just simply stop the rat-race for a moment and stop living in the future in my multi-million-dollar beach house surrounded by notable awards and honors for my bestselling books (not to mention the award-winning movies that are based off of them).
I need to stop and be content with my lot in life with my loft and my wife and my baby and my dogs and my books (by other authors), and just be. And maybe watch what I eat… after my birthday leftovers are gone… or sometime after Christmas.
And if you feel inclined to wish me a happy birthday in a meaningful way and help me achieve my goal of becoming a bestselling author, please feel free to purchase my book I Am the Lion on your Kindle device. I really would like that beach house for my wife.

Published by Andrew Toy

Writer when I'm not being a husband or dad. So mostly just a husband and dad.

50 thoughts on “Birthday Blog

  1. Happy Birthday 🙂 ohhh to be 31 again!! lol you’re still a youngun so enjoy it while you still can , I sincerely hope that the adoption goes well for you and your wife. enjoy the constant crying at the wrong time moments before you know it your little one will be sassing back and after that phase pestering you to teach them how to drive! children grow remarkably fast….too damn fast! and Congratulations on your book, may you become so successful that you can buy your beach house….never give up on your dreams!

  2. We have a bit in common in terms of our paths to parenthood. I became a stepmother last year, and I’m a crappier mother than I thought I’d be; so I can relate to this. Happy birthday, and good luck with the adoption of your little girl.

    1. Thank you! It’s good to know I’m not alone, but may we always strive to be better for the sake of our kids (that’s what I keep telling myself, anyway).

  3. Congratulations. It’s lovely of you to offer a child a home. I wish you all the best with child rearing. You’re only 31, and you’re still so young. You have ways to go. If only we could see some cake photos.

    1. Yes! It’ll be available to read tomorrow, would love if you can leave a review on Amazon when you’re finished! I truly hope you love it.

  4. Hi Andrew,
    happy birthday! Sorry, I am a little late with my wishes.
    And good luck for the completion of the adoption process!
    And don’t worry! You are very young….still in your thirties (I’m in my forties…much older 😦 )

    All the best!

  5. Whoa, this sounds kind of like me (except that I haven’t published anything yet.) I’m 29, about to have my first baby, and terrified that I’m going to be a horrible mother who has nothing to offer. I’m sure you’re not at all a crappy father, and good luck with the adoption process! As far as last year’s post, I don’t think there’s any time for regrets. Do what you can now. Regrets don’t change anything except your mood. Happy late birthday.

    1. Thank you so much for the reminder. You’re awesome. And if you just have a bit more patience than I do, I’m sure you’ll be an awesome mom.

      1. Um… I don’t know you, but I’m willing to bet I have way less patience than you do. I’m one of the most impatient people I know. I’m trying to be better, though! I guess that’s all we can really do.

  6. Let me first of all say that 30 is young. Enjoy life with a child and all its magical moments while you can because before you know it you will blink and they will be teens and not wanting you involved in their lives, followed by out the door and living their own lives as young adults. After they are gone you have lots of years to do the things that didn’t get done when there were children in the house. A perfect song for the busy lifestyle is Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin — good lessons in that old song.

    1. That is a difficult song to listen to when you have a kid. It’s a wonderful reminder – one I need every single day.

  7. I’m responding a day late! Sorry! Happy Birthday!
    Parenting, it’s not easy and it takes a bit of learning – it’s certainly not all ‘instinctive’. When the first of our three children was born I quickly discovered just what a self-centred person I was and started to realise the full cost of the love and sacrifices my parents had made for me. It’s a wonderful journey being part of child’s development into adulthood and there are many personal lessons to be learned along the way. I do hope your plans work out.
    Allison UK

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