Black Friday Blues

f93e6108_Bearcostume-blackfridayI love my wife. I love her for so many reasons. But one particular reason I love her so much is for her sarcastic-charged logic.

She’s gotten frustrated over the dozen or so Facebook posts about boycotting retail stores that are open on Thanksgiving. So she says to me, “The next time I see a post like that I’m going to respond by saying, ‘If you’re going to not go shopping for that reason, then you need to not use your computer or phone and not watch your TV all day on Thanksgiving.'”

She’s right because I work in the cable/internet industry as my day job until I become a best-selling author, and I’m having to work today on Thanksgiving so that I can ensure people continue to get their cable and internet.

So basically, if you’re going to boycott anything, don’t go halvsies – go all the way and don’t use any of your services.

I’m talking full-on Sabbath Day Pharisee-style.

Don’t even think about watching the Macey’s Day Parade, because those 3,000+ parade-people are technically working by promoting their shows or businesses or causes.

And football? Forget about it! Even though I don’t consider athletes as citizens contributing to society, they’re also working for their paychecks. So if you’re going to boycott retail stores, stay home by all means, but don’t turn that TV on!

And heck, don’t even drive the car because that means highway patrolmen have to be stationed on the road to check your speed.

And for the turkey’s sake, don’t go to any grocery store – even if you had committed the unforgivable sin of forgetting the potatoes or Egg Nog. That’s right – you’re stuck with no mashed potatoes for your Thanksgiving table and your family is going to taunt you about it for the rest of your life and spit on your grave. (“That’s for Thanksgiving ’14! Patooey!”)

So basically, don’t feel bad for the people working on Thanksgiving – we’ve got 364 other nights of the year to have turkey and mashed potatoes. Personally, I’m glad for the extra pay so I can spoil my little girl that much more for Christmas.

But if you do decide not to go to Target on Thanksgiving night, thank you, in advance. That’s one less person I’ll have to stand in line behind when I get off from work to buy all my DVDs for dirt cheap.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

And help me quit my day job and become a best-selling author by buying my book here!

Click here for proper customer etiquette to practice this Black Friday

Published by Andrew Toy

Writer when I'm not being a husband or dad. So mostly just a husband and dad.

30 thoughts on “Black Friday Blues

  1. I have been wondering why retail stores are taking such a beating. No one complains about all the theme parks, movie theaters, hospitals, nursing homes, hotels, etc that are open 365 days a year. At least the retail stores aren’t opening for the entire day.

  2. I will be making an effort to stay out of the stores tomorrow— because they’ll be so crowded you can’t get anything done anyway. Anything I want will keep a couple of days.

    It’s just the principle of the thing— I don’t like crowds.

  3. I think retail is a focal point simply because of the environment of danger it creates for the people working there. Mobs of people can be…lawless. These workers probably get minimum wage to run a cash register and are expected to deal with trampling and public humiliation.

  4. There’s a big difference. Most people who work at retail stores are paid minimum wage, aren’t told their schedules more than a week in advance, and can get fired for taking the day off. Sure, when you work for The Today Show, you know you’re signing on to work on Thanksgiving. But you also get paid union wages for working that day. And where you work, I’m sure you take turns with the unpleasant shifts. But a cashier at Walmart has to work whenever she’s told to work, even if that means all the holidays, and she doesn’t necessarily know ahead of time that she’s going to work a holiday, which means she might have to hustle for child care. And all for such a low wage that she’s eligible for Food Stamps.

    1. Agreed! Also grocery stores should be closed today! As well as gas stations those people deserve a day to be with their families, nobody is going to starve at thanksgiving because so so forgot Potatos. But the 16 year old kid working at the grocery store because “everyone else has families and can’t work” is going to miss dinner with their family. I know I’ve been that kid many years in a row. Retail stores are not necessary. No one is going to die if they get the cheap TV at 6am rather then 6 pm on thanksgiving. You still get your TV and many more people get to enjoy a holiday.

    2. Actually I got to know a couple of people who work for Starbucks when I would run in for my tea, and they told me they get at least double the pay if not more for working Thanksgiving. When I was a kid in the late 1980s/early 1990s you literally couldn’t find gas stations open on that day (believe me, I remember when I woke up to food poisoning on Thanksgiving and had to tough it out because nothing was open.) If this change has come up, one reason may be that the people working either really needed the extra pay or just flat out couldn’t resist it. I realize a big chunk of this is corporate America saying we’re making a decision and if you don’t like it you can leave, but some people need/want that extra money.

  5. hahahahahahaha.
    One serious comment, now that I have had a laugh:
    My biggest concern about Black Friday is that people get hurt or killed because some over zealous shoppers can’t mind their manners. I would like to see retailers come up with an approach that doesn’t encourage pushing, bullying and other hurtful behavior.

    1. I’ve heard that they now open the stores in waves so as to help with crowd control. When I went this past week, nothing was that crowded. Seems to have worked here in Louisville.

  6. I have to be honest and say I am guilty of posting one of those posts your wife is upset by. And I also am a waitress that just got done working a 12 hour shift, and had one woman give me a serious evil eye when she was told we ran out of pumpkin pie. Seriously, you know what is tastes like and you can get it any other day, and I am sorry we ran out, but I can’t pull one from where the sun don’t shine even if I wanted to! That rant aside, I find your post loaded with so much logic it has changed my mind about the “keep away from the shopping posts!” I won’t participate in the shopping myself because I will be recovering from today and I just don’t have a clue what I am doing for Christmas gifts this year. Thanks for making a really good point!

  7. Sorry, James but I respectfully disagree. There are people like yourself who signed up for holiday potential when they accepted certain jobs…..nurses, firefighters, police officers, etc. but retail workers were never part of the equation. So to take minimum wage earners away from their families on this day is, in my humble opinion, wrong. Couple that with the fact that it’s done purely for money and profits and it just becomes more insane. Tens of thousands of people and families are affected across the country for a few hours of unnecessary shopping for items that could have been purchased anytime for the same price before or after Thanksgiving Day, lest we be mislead by the folks who market the whole process differently in order to play with our sensibilities. It’s just flat out wrong.

    1. I can definitely understand the sentiment, but I, like the retail workers, didn’t have a choice to work this Thanksgiving. But my family and I made it work and it turned out to be wonderful. And I had one more thing to be thankful for: Holiday pay! I used to feel exactly as you do, but my mind changed when I suddenly had to be on the other side of the equation (having to work on Thanksgiving) and it wasn’t half bad.

  8. Your wife is lucky she doesn’t live in St. Louis. My news feed is clogged with this non stop protesting stuff. I’d much rather see don’t shop than the news announcing malls keep getting closed down. I so enjoy your blog.

  9. As someone who worked in retail, I agree with don’t feel bad for the ones that have to work on the holidays. I knew when I was hired that more than likely I would be working a holiday. My company was very honest about it as well saying that it would be expected of me to work for them in retail. So just like other professions like policemen, nurses, doctors, etc… as a retail worker the potential for working on the holiday was just an expectation of the job.

    And just like you I am glad for the extra pay on those days to better spoil my 6 sisters and girlfriend.

  10. I love the way your wife thinks! My dad has always worked Thanksgiving so that his employees could be home with their families. That is why we have always brought Thanksgiving to him. An event that usually includes 40-50 friends and family. It stinks that he has to work but us ‘kids’ willingly help answer the phone and deal with the few customers so that he has a few moments to enjoy his lunch and spend time with the family. And we wouldn’t have it any other way!

  11. I am not a Thanksgiving/Black Friday shopper, but the points you make in your post are important because the average person does not consider that there are people out their working so they can enjoy so many of our lifestyle conveniences we take for granted will work 365 days a year.

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