How We Got Our Daughter Part 1


A year ago we met our infant foster daughter for the first time. Below is the epic saga of how it all came to pass. And, you’re welcome.

Sarabeth and I had been married for four years while everyone around us was popping babies out like gum ball machines gone haywire. We applied to be foster-to-adopt parents in February of 2013 thinking that would be a quick fix to a deep void. Come Christmas morning eleven months later, we still had no kid to lavish with gifts. Every Christmas was becoming harder and harder and only brought us more devastation.

It’s one thing to want a bike for your birthday or yearn for a promotion, but to have an ever-empty nursery in the house to welcome no child is a pain that even Hemingway couldn’t describe.

Enter bitter cold January of 2014. No child. Our background checks for the foster program had been lost. Again. Redo, resend, repeat. Goodbye, January. Hello February 6, five years into marriage and one year after applying to be foster parents, a day that would forever change our lives.

It started with an email from our assigned social worker: “You’ve been approved.”

My ever-optimistic thoughts: Oh, good. Now we just have to wait another year while they find us a kid. 

My phone rang. I scan my calls, so I didn’t answer it.

A minute later I got an email from the same social worker: “Can you answer your phone? We have a baby to place with you if you’re interested.”

My thoughts: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I pressed Call Back and immediately I was told that there was a newborn baby who needed a home and would we be willing to accept her? I was already emailing my wife. The frantic message looked something like this: Were aprived! They have a gbabya. Y or B?

Her response: Yes! Yes! Yes!

“We’ll take her!” I screamed into the phone as though I were at an auction.

The funny thing is, even though we had no idea what she looked like or had ever heard her cry, and knew very little about her, Sarabeth and I had already fallen deeply and madly and hopelessly in love with her.

Tune in tomorrow for the rest of our story…

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Published by Andrew Toy

Writer when I'm not being a husband or dad. So mostly just a husband and dad.

24 thoughts on “How We Got Our Daughter Part 1

  1. Thank you for sharing your story! There are a couple of families around me that are going through something similar, and posts like these help me understand a little better what they are going through and hopefully, the joy they will have when they have the opportunity to adopt a child of their own ❤

      1. Me too! In the meanwhile, please do keep posting and maybe consider sharing your experience with well meaning friends and what helped you the most. As a personal favor to me 😛

  2. That’s incredible. We have been wanting to adopt teenagers and have gotten the run around for over three years now. It is so heartbreaking. Social workers telling us they will get around to looking at our application when they get around to it. Over a year later, still hasn’t “gotten around to it”. Many stories like that. So. Completely. Heartbreaking. I am glad to know that God is in control. I can’t believe they don’t want these teenagers to have a home. Unbelievable.

  3. So exciting!!! My parents tried to adopt after being unable to have another biological child when they wanted another, and it was such a heart wrenching process. I’m glad things are turning out so well for y’all. Love seeing your family’s story!

  4. My son and his wife waited a long tim for a baby to adopt after they found they could not have one – and our little Juliette (I’m a gma – I get to say “our”) came to them in an open adoption (after they were approved) via a friend of a friend – they even got to be in the delivery room. Love your story. re-tweeted it on SBS.

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