The Best Remedy For Stress In a Marriage


With Sarabeth being a stay-at-home mom with two incommunicative toddlers and two dogs, and me working on several books and trying to survive a job that isn’t considered my favorite place to work, it was time for a vacation.

The heat was getting high in our house (and not in a good way). I made it a habit to come home and vent about my work or throw open my laptop when my kids needed to see me (or Sarabeth needed help). If our house were Disneyland, we had the Fast Pass to a broken ride.

It was like those scenes in those old movies where the protagonist’s life is spiraling out of control and you see all those heads circling his distraught face and they’re all slandering him and calling him names.

That’s what I felt like.

So it was time for a vacation.

We visited Grandma and Grandpa (the kids’, not ours) in South Florida and one night, they told us they were keeping the kids and insisted we go to a movie.

Best. Night. Ever.

No screaming kids. No worrying about someone wandering off. No having to split our food four ways. No cleaning up a huge mess and singing Baby Beluga just for a potentially brief moment of silence.

It had been two years since we had gone on a date.

And I realized that’s really bad.

Like, really, really bad.

People, we all know you love your kids, but you’re not being Super Parents by not taking a break.

Work a little overtime to scrap up some cash for a sitter and a nice dinner. Especially for couples whose wife works at home all day with the kids.

Seriously men, date your wife! Best advise I’ve been ignoring. My plan is for our date the other night to be the first of many. I can honestly say, after being with Sarabeth my wife, as opposed to Sarabeth our kids’ mom, for a few hours, reminds me who I married and why.

Take her out, and if you do it soon, I recommend seeing The Martian. That movie will show you we can survive anything – even parenthood.

Published by Andrew Toy

Writer when I'm not being a husband or dad. So mostly just a husband and dad.

21 thoughts on “The Best Remedy For Stress In a Marriage

  1. My wife and I have had a date night pretty much every week since our daughter was about one years old. We were lucky in that my wife’s parents lived about 20 minutes away and loved the opportunity every week to have her over for the evening. Our daughter is now grown and married and we still have out weekly date night. It’s something husbands should never stop doing – never stop “dating” your wife.


  2. Well done, Andrew! I forwarded a copy of this blog to our son and his wife. They have a 2 and 4 year old and I just spent a full 30 days with them and wow, do they ever need a regular date night. They live right across the country so the weekly thing doesn’t work for me, but I plan to give them a month as often as I can. Wish I was closer.


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