We’re all familiar with making New Year’s resolutions, and we’re even more familiar with breaking them by February 3rd. Let’s face it, most of the time New Year’s resolutions don’t work.

But what if you went into the new year with a different mindset?

Instead of making a New Year’s resolution, do what I’m doing and make a refuselution! 

What the heck is that? Glad you asked.

A resolution is the act of resolving to make a change to one’s life, usually targeting a specific goal and/or accomplishment.

Another way to put it is, it’s like pressing the button on a launch missile and hoping the target gets bombed.

My problem with resolutions is that it leaves a lot of room for failure, because targets are easy to miss. You have a much higher chance of not getting the soccer ball in the goal because there’s so much open space around it.

But what if you said, “I refuse to let the ball land on the left side of the goal. Anything else is victory.” Much higher change of success. You’ve just raise the odds of winning from a mere 10% to a whopping 60%.

This year I’m not making the same resolution I’ve been making every year for the last decade and a half. I’ve always said, “I want to be a bestselling author.” Sure, I still want that, but I have to examine why I want that.

Well, I want to be self-employed. I want to make money for me doing what I love to do – not slave away at a mindless job making someone else money they didn’t earn (corporate America).

So while I am still going to strive with all of my heart to land on the New York Times bestseller list by December 31, 2016, I am open to any other way I can safely quit my day job and have more time to spend at home with my growing kids, make my own schedule, work my own hours, take a day off whenever I want, travel, and be happy doing what I’m doing.

My refuselution is simple: I refuse to be at my day job (or be obligated to any day job) by December 31, 2016.

See how that leaves a much wider area for success? Instead of bombing a certain target, I’m just having to avoid a certain spot. Instead of having to find the needle in the haystack, I just have to avoid the needle.

Instead of resolving to be a certain weight, refuse to reach a certain poundage. (“I refuse to hit 250 pounds all year.”)

Instead of resolving to watch less TV, refuse to allow yourself to be dependent on TV. (“I refuse to say no to activities and life in general because I’d rather watch my stupid shows.”)

Instead of resolving to be a better parent, refuse to yell at your kids so much. (“I refuse to be known as the guy who screams at my children.”)

Or instead of resolving to be happier, refuse to find your happiness and worth in others and chart your own course.

Making a refuselution leaves a lot of room for error and mistakes. But it also is sort of a map of a minefield and tells us where to avoid stepping. Everything else is fair game!

Share with me your refuselutions. What are you going to avoid next year? And refuse to not share this with your friends!

My upcoming books: 

  1. Profit Over Patients – The true story of a patient advocate doctor who sued Big Insurance and won against all odds.
  2. These Great Affects – An emotionally-driven young adult novel about a girl who falls in love with a boy – after he dies.

Follow my Facebook Page for updates!

Published by Andrew Toy

Writer when I'm not being a husband or dad. So mostly just a husband and dad.

55 thoughts on “My New Year’s “REFUSELUTION”

  1. I love this idea and will definitely implement it. Not that I make resolutions, but I always ask for a better year than I had the last, if that a resolution or just a wish? Will be reblogging 😉

  2. I love your enthusiasm! Having and setting clear goals, even if some of them are small, is so critical to achieving success. A planner I found last year and that has been instrumental in my life is the InnerGuide series ( I haven’t tried the life coach program, but bought it for my teen and am eager to see her achieve some milestones in her life. Why don’t they teach this stuff in High School?! 🙂

  3. I love the term “refuselution!” Rather than working toward an unattainable goal, we push ourselves to NOT do that which makes us helpless, angry, useless, etc! As you say, we open our chances from 10% to at least 60% LOL

  4. This is an obviously superior approach to setting goals than the traditional resolutions. Your descriptions are delightful. I am so glad that I found your blog. You are my first follow for 2016!

  5. Hey there , I totally love the idea , I think is time to change tactics to get a better result , and this one I think is pretty great , I will try it . Thank you so much for sharing this and I hope you reach your goals soon enough ! Happy new Year Refuselution hehehe xo

  6. I love this post! I actually wrote something very similar. I’m done with new year resolutions – instead I am want to just be more present, in each moment, to realize what I am feeling or doing and how it is affecting me. Sometimes it’s the little goals and moments that can change us and define us. Great post!

  7. Agreed! It goes by many names, although I think yours is by far the most clever, but focusing on what’s most important by focusing on what you can change, and being happy with the balance of what is left. Happy 2016 and here’s to a great year of writing and getting off of the Corporate Grid!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: