Since I was young I’ve had bad hearing. Thirty-percent hearing loss in one ear and forty-percent in the other. Something like that.
As a result I used to get words words wrong all the time.
I thought there was an N in early: “Earnly.”
I used to say “supposebly” instead of “supposedly.” (Except I don’t know what sentences would require me to say that word, but if I said it, that’s how I would have pronounced it.)
I pronounced helicopter: helicockter.
And if something was corny, I’d say it was horny.
A lot of times things aren’t what they seem. Your life could be heading in a direction completely different from what you expect.
I heard of a guy at work who got passed up for a promotion. Turns out the boss was holding out for a better promotion which he didn’t get because he let his performance slide.
I thought those spots on Michael Phelps were because he sucks at Nerf. Turns out it’s a form of therapy involving suction cups.
I once thought my highest aspiration was to be an author. Now I own my own company.
So take my advice with a great assault and remember that things are hardly ever what they seem.
And check out Endever’s serial novel, “The Underneath” if you’ve caught up with your Olympics viewing.